Copper Spur 3 Platinum

Heads up (if you weren’t already aware), the copper spur models are currently 25% off on Backcountry.com - I was also between UL2 XL / UL3 and ended up going with the 3!

I’ve used a Big Agnes copper spur 3 for years backpacking with family, fitting 3 adults is snug but having a year old in between would be really doable depending on what you are using for the toddlers pad. Keep in mind taking young kids means you will be hauling all their gear too (as well as them at 1 year old) so saving weight on the tent is nice. While they do make a 4 person copper spur tent it’s a good bit more $ and I’ve found since we camp I primarily in the NC mountains where open relatively flat spots tent not to be that big… so finding a place for a 4person tent can be more difficult sometimes

Big Agnes is 100% worth it to me. They’ve replaced 2 tents for me and restrung poles for free. I currently have a Seedhouse 2 (replaced a 1 after delamination), a four season something which replaced a seedhouse 2 and a copper spur 3. Recommend them all the time.  Also the $1000 is an extreme weather tent. If your out in winter or serious elements, you don’t screw around with your shelter. 

Wait, what is their buy back? I've had so many BAs, currently have a Copper Spur 3 I split with my partner, It's awesome. This is coming from 20 years of a Seedhouse.

I actually have both and have used them with my two kids (slightly older Copper Spur 3). Two kids, 13 and 16, and me on 20 inch wide pads. They both worked fine (used the Copper Spur when they were younger). The newer Tiger Wall felt a bit more spacious.

I have a BA Copper Spur 3. It's awesome, but I would want something more robust for your use case in the PNW if it's my only tent. I have a Black Diamond El Dorado if I'm expecting real weather in shoulder season (also used for ski touring). Love it, but it's single wall and not what you want for an only tent. People have mentioned a bunch above, and of those I'd probably look closest at Hilleberg (two different buddies own and love) and Slingfin. Can get pretty weight competitive with lighter options, but much sturdier in weather.