I recently bought a mattress, I was looking at this subreddit and I had the same confusion. I think mattress subject is just too personal to generalize.
For me, I bought something that no one seemed to recommend but I like it because I wanted a really firm basic mattress without paying too much. I bought "Serta Perfect Sleeper Sleep Excellence", extra firm, queen size. The website shows an absurd number for price (2.5k) but if you go to a mattress firm store, it's actually $850 or somewhere around that. It's cheap enough, seems decent quality, and it's as firm as I want (it was the most firm mattress I could try around my area).
In my opinion, you just need to try it in person and look at reviews for customer support and general issues with the specific brands. The mattress I like would probably be considered trash by a lot of people, but I love it so far.
I have been through this exact same scenario except I did let them take my mattress!!! It led to a year of musical mattress hell and pain!! Finally, I landed on the one I have now, which is 21 years old, and I don't care to ever change it again!
Mine is a 21 years old Serta Perfect Sleeper pillow top! I LOVE it! I always joke I will die on that thing, because I have a terrible back, and every time I have tried to switch mattresses, it complains! I hate traveling for that reason. New mattresses are weird too.
*cracks knuckles* I work at a mattress store and I know more about the specs on these things than any of my customers probably care about.
First of all: for your own sanity, do not buy a mattress without trying it out in person first. Even if the online-only purchases come with free returns it is NOT worth the hassle. It's legitimately so much easier to go to a store and have a brief conversation about the way you sleep with someone who knows mattresses. Different mattresses are all made to support different sleep needs, someone who is knowledgeable will likely be able to match you with the best one to address your needs in your budget.
With that said, knowing only from your post that you're a side sleeper, here are my luxury hybrid recs.
Best of the best: Tempur-pedic. These things are built to last 25 years. Fantastic if you're a hot sleeper, have any pain, and/or toss and turn. (Side note: a lot of people are convinced that tossing and turning is normal. It's not, it's a sign that you're struggling to get comfortable on your bed). Specific model recommendation to start with is the Pro Adapt 2.0 Medium Hybrid. A bed as good as this is an investment in the way you heal, feel, and function, but holy shit is it worth it. I've fallen asleep on this one in the store in five MINUTES by accident while not even tired or intending to fall asleep, just testing it out. I need to physically restrain myself from laying on this bed in between customers. Having had plenty of time to try all the top brands... This one's my personal fave.
Great if you don't like the feel of Tempur pedic: Purple. I typically find that people who don't like the feel of Tempur love the feel of purple and vice versa. It's kind of a coin toss. Either way, both fantastically supportive. Purple is also really great for people with chronic conditions; the gel flex grid adapts to support your body no matter what position you're in
Very good option if these two are a little out of the budget: Sealy Posturepedic hybrids. Not as durable as the above two, and won't give as much targeted support or pressure relief, but still very comfortable. If you have any hip pain or back pain, posturepedics actually have some extra coils in the middle third of the bed (where your hips/back go) for added support there.
FYI, if you're a side sleeper, a firm mattress isn't recommended. A firm puts too much pressure on shoulders/hips for side sleepers. Medium and plush/soft mattresses don't sacrifice support, they just add comfort layers.
I'm going to stop here before I never shut the fuck up about my esoteric mattress knowledge 😭😅
Stomach sleepers usually need something on the firmer side so your hips don't sink in too much. I'll give you some "good-better-best" recs that some of my stomach sleeper customers have really liked.
Good: Nectar premier memory foam, if you want to keep it around $1000 or under then memorial day sales are gonna be your best friend (many companies go until the end of the month). Even in a medium, nectar is definitely on the firmer side for memory foam because it's denser and higher quality. As far as I've seen, nectar seems to be the most durable for memory foam mattresses.
Better: if you don't like the feel of memory foam as much as an innerspring bed, Serta Perfectsleeper with a Pillowtop (I actually have a Serta perfectsleeper! Genuinely very supportive for the price point it's at)
Best: if you like the firm feel, Stearns and Foster has an extra firm mattress that's specifically designed for stomach sleepers! Lux Estate 13.5" extra firm. If that feels too hard for your preference, the 15" firm is great too.
Edit: OP I'm sorry for being a nerd in your comments section LOL
I have the exact same issue and I’m only a few years older. My problems started right around your age and it’s been an absolute nightmare. The issue can be due to several things and you should take pictures of your back to really see what’s going on with your spine. Most mattresses cause me to sink unevenly with my hips sinking much more than my shoulders. This causes the spinal sagging and leads to lower back and some mid back pain. The only mattresses that I’ve slept well on are the Serta (perfect sleeper specifically) ones with zoned support. My parents have one and I could not for the life of me figure out what it was until recently. I’m not advocating for that brand, it’s the last one I wanted since I’ve had other mattresses from them without the zones and slept horribly. However, I’ve slept on 3 different ones while traveling for work and slept better in the hotel beds than my own. They all happened to be the same mattress which is no surprise given I stayed at the same chain, but it reaffirmed what I believed.
A lumbar pillow has helped but it’s nowhere near as good as having the full support. I don’t imagine a soft mattress will fix this if you’re sinking unevenly. Depending on the construction, the weight at your pressure points will cause the mattress get pulled downward further out so you won’t get support at your mid section, you’ll just sink more.
Hopefully you’re able to find something that works or at least have more insight on what to research
kemiyun
