Rapide SL Insulated Sleeping Pad

I'll second this. I have this pad and have used it the past couple of hunting seasons. Plenty warm in below freezing temps, and cushy enough for side sleeping. I have the wide long version and it feels pretty spacious.

Hammock if I can, Big Agnes Rapide XL wide if I can't

Shouldn't be a problem. For extrapolation I'm a big dude right at your combined weight, and I've been on the single size of that pad without issues for 2 nights. Bigger version, more room to spread the pressure, I think ya'll will be fine. If you plan on having activity time, I'd probably let some of the air out of the pad so it won't over pressurize and pop a seam if it's tested too vigorously.

I've got the Big Agnes Tiger Wall 2 Bikepack and recommend it, fits great on handlebars, in a cargo cage, or sideways in a pannier. I have the Big Agnes Rapide SL pad, and the thickness is nice after a long day in the saddle.

Yes it's a matter of seeing what works for you. Personally - I am a side and stomach sleeper. Mummy type bags and narrow tiny pads suck. I used to use a Nemo bag with a sleeve to receive a Klymit V. This worked ok, but not great at all. I finally got fed up and too the extra weight. I now use a Big Agnes Rapide double wide and a Kelty Galactic down rectangular bag. Went on a trip last week and it was the best camping sleep I ever had.

I am a side sleeper who tosses and turns all night. Two years ago I got a rectangular kelty bag and a Big Agnes Rapide SL in 40 x 72 size. It's the Barcalounger of light-ish weight mats. I'm pretty light weight, and the extra weight for the bag and mat are well worth the trade off for primo sleep. I recommend this mat for sure.