
Exped
MegaMat Series
Car camping comfort king; warm and durable.

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I’ve winter camped in plenty cold weather with a 3R plus a 2R foam pad underneath and been plenty warm just because I don’t like having a dedicated winter pad.
Modern-day insulated inflatable hiking pads are 3 to 4" thick and the comfiest are miles better than anything I've seen any military force use. Reliable brands include Thermarest, Exped and Sea to Summit, with the latter having an "air sprung cell" structure I find the comfiest of them all. Model names include Neoair for Thermarest, Versa for Exped, and Etherlight and Aircell for Sea to Summit. Add an inflatable pillow and you're set for an actual night of sleep instead of just waiting for time to pass. Some bag manufacturers make wide or extra wide models. I'm not as well updated on bags.
I've had four Expeds. Still have two. Both have the built-in pump. One has synthetic fill. The other has some down insulation which makes it good for ~10F colder than without. The first two developed tiny leaks (could not find them even with submerging). They were a few years out of warranty. Exped still replaced both. I appreciate a company that stands behind their products. I also like side-sleeping. I have not used these as much as what you will. So durability...🤷
I had a Tensor and it was uncomfortable for me as well. I’ve found Exped inflatable pads comfortable. My favorite right now though is the Neoloft.
Insulated inflatable sleeping pad. Yes, an air mattress. But the ones with high R value will insulate you. Exped, Nemo, Thermarest, Sea to Summit, others. There are lightweight ones for backpacking and imaginably so they're going to tend to be more expensive. There are other ones that may be more comfort focused that aren't as light if you're just doing car camping. Get one from a company that does ASTM rating. This does kind of sound like "big sleeping pad" or a cartel. And it kind of is. But prior to them using that standard, it was the wild west. Sleeping pad manufacturers would just put any number on there that didn't mean anything. So a bunch of companies got together and decided to use this standard. It just gives you that relative comparison across brands. If you're not going below 32 f, then consider a pad that is R value 4 to 5. If you're going to be going below freezing but not necessarily below zero f, consider R value 6 or better. If you're going to be going below zero f then, you want to get up into the ones that are rated at R value 7.5+. You can stack an inflatable on top of ccf pads to increase your insulation. You can put an insulated sleeping pad on top of a cot if that's what you want to do. If you're using an inflatable, obviously you want to make sure it won't pop on the cot. About using a cot. Just getting you off the ground isn't going to make your warm. You'll still need insulation. The cot is irrelevant to heat transfer to the ground. You'd just end up with cold air under you instead of cold ground. One to look out for is the upcoming Nemo Eclipse which is supposed to be due out in march. It's going to be 4 in thick so probably comfortable. With an R value of 6.2 it should be pretty comfortable down to about zero f. No one really has information on this yet. So if you're looking to buy right now, you're going to look at other stuff. Check out the websites. If you see ones you're interested in, watch YouTube reviews. They're usually pretty good videos on most every product that's out there. I wanted to add, R value on sleeping pads and ground insulation is equally important to understanding top insulation. If using a sleeping bag or backpacking quilt, it's important to understand the EN or ISO rating. And really to look at the comfort rating. Understand also that those standards are assuming you're sleeping on a sleeping pad with an R value about 5 plus wearing base layer or thermal underwear, wool socks, and a warm hat.
No one in ultralight group odd going to recommend extra weight for a little comfort. I use a switchback and exped inflatable and think it’s great for all the reasons you list. Added r value, backup pad for some comfort incase exped gets leak, foam pad protects pad, etc. is better comfort, but not ultralight.

Exped
MegaMat Series
Car camping comfort king; warm and durable.

NEMO
Tensor Series
Lightweight side sleeper favorite, but polarizing on warmth and noise.

Exped
Ultra Series
Comfortable, quiet side sleeper pad; compact for backpacking.

Big Agnes
Rapide SL Insulated Sleeping Pad
Comfortable with unique side rails; R-value and durability disputed.

Therm-a-Rest
NeoLoft™ Sleeping Pad
Very comfortable; a bit heavy and bulky for backpacking.

Ranked #1
Exped - MegaMat Series

Ranked #1
Exped - MegaMat Series

Ranked #1
Exped - MegaMat Series

Ranked #1
Exped - MegaMat Series

Ranked #1
Therm-a-Rest - NeoAir Xtherm Series